Today is the tenth anniversary of a dear friend losing the love of his life.

He wrote a lament after she'd left and read it to me last night after we'd made love.

We both wept.

Thought I'd like to share it with you.

When you left me
Smiling sweetly
When the tears
And darkness came
While the plane
Stood by for somewhere
And you softly
Said my name
Kissed me gently
Held the red rose
Smiling bravely
Took the blame
 
I turned my head away
So you could not see the anguish
In my eyes.
 
Through the darkness
And the dying
Through the deadness
And the pain
Other women
Came to hold me
Came to love me
Sooth the pain
Called me darling
In the darkness
Said I love you
Made their claim
And I hoped
‘Twas not the same
 
And I turned my head away
So they could not see the fear
In my eyes
 
Other women
Came to hold me
Held me close
And spoke my name
Loved my body
Sensed my longing
Filled my need
And played my game
But the holding
Didn’t last long
And I shrugged
When leaving came
 
And I turned my head away
So they could not see the nothing
In my eyes.

One gave me moments
In the darkness
In the deadness
And the pain
When she loved me
Chased me laughing
Through the sunlight
And the rain
But the laughter
Didn’t last long
Sunlight died
When evening came
 
And I turned my head away
So she could not see the hunger
In my eyes.
 
Then the one
The one who’d left me
Asked to meet
And talk again
Kissed me softly
In my darkness
Lips that burned me
Christ, the pain
And she told me
Of the other
And she softly
Spoke his name
 
And I turned my head away
So she could not see the love
Still in my eyes.
 
From the darkness
Through the healing
Came a letter
In my name
How are you dear
How’s it going
How's your life dear
Bloody shame
But no word of you love
Are you well love
Are you happy
Is he worth it
There's no blame
 
Please don’t turn your head away
I want to see the blueness
I need to see the blueness
I'd love to see the blueness
Of your eyes

Just one more time.


(Samantha Jones is a Canadian journalist publishing her erotic memoir at www.lulu.com)